.withdrawal

Now I do not know how but I need it, want it
I have turned everything upside down
I have looked everywhere several times
But I cannot find what I ache for

[ im not stable right now. im not thinking straight. im going down now.]

Now I’m biting my nails and sucking my fingertips
Trying to remember the taste of what I crave
My throat dried up, tummy making noises
Sleep deprived I run around the house

[ i don’t remember if i slept or not. im not sure if im sleeping right now or if im awake.]

Now I’m scratching my head and pulling my hair
Constantly thinking about it – cant seem to stop
Hunkering in a corner and lurking from the dark
I still cannot find the ‘drug’ that I’m looking for

[ i don’t know what is this. the goodbye or the flashback. i don’t know what hurts more.]

Now do you see that I’m searching for you?
The dopamine rush i get from your presence
The kick and the high of our intimacy and love
The pleasure of your voice and the calmness of your breath
The insane drive I got by being with you and talking to you
Remember this,
If love is a drug then you’re of the most enslaving kind.

[ im slowly dying i guess. this withdrawal is my end. tata.]

-aja